Raquel Leviss had a realization whilst gazing the season 11 premiere of Vanderpump Regulations.
“It’s that part of me really wanting to take accountability because that is a part of true healing and growth and how we can resolve these painful memories that we’re having to address head-on with the show,” Leviss, 29, stated at the Thursday, February 1, episode of her “Rachel Goes Rogue” podcast. “I just hope that the listeners and the people that were involved know that I have done so much work on myself.”
Leviss admitted that gazing the premiere made her really feel emotional, particularly as a result of she’s in a special position now.
“It was hard to see because I’m in a different place than I was back then,” she confessed. “It’s a weird time warp when you’re watching a show like this and living one reality in that moment and then, months later when the episodes air, you’re living in another reality but you’re also reliving those moments that they captured on camera. And so it’s a nod to my younger self who was still in love and infatuated.”
Season 10 of the Bravo hit ended with Leviss’ affair with ex Tom Sandoval coming to gentle and inflicting the breakup between him and longtime female friend Ariana Madix. Right through the reunion particular, Leviss apologized to Madix, 38, who were relationship Sandoval, 40, for just about a decade.
“With my apology that I made at the reunion, I had all the right intentions and I was extremely sorry,” Leviss defined. “But there’s another part of an apology, which is your actions afterward, they have to align with what you’re saying.”
After filming the reunion, Leviss checked right into a psychological well being facility however persisted to keep up a correspondence with Sandoval by way of snail mail which used to be delivered to Sandoval and Madix’s shared house.
“By sending him letters and being in contact for a good amount of time, I still want to take this time now to apologize again because I am in a different place than I was back then,” Leviss added. “And I can see things a lot clearer now.”
Whilst the Pump Regulations forged addressed Leviss and Sandoval’s courting within the season 10 reunion, season 11 picked up months after the affair got here to gentle. Leviss, for her phase, opted not to go back to the display. After gazing the premiere, the type admitted she had blended emotions about now not being there.
“I am watching this show and I’m really having to accept the fact that I’m not on it this season, and that was a decision that I really had a lot of weight in making,” she stated on Thursday. “I didn’t take that lightly, and so it’s almost like a part of me grieving what could have been in a different parallel timeline. But I do think that I made the right decision by not going back.”