Rachel “Raquel” Leviss is getting candid about her point of view at the previous yr.
“The day has finally come where I get the chance to tell my own story in my words,” Leviss, 29, stated within the “Rachel Goes Rogue” podcast teaser launched on Monday, December 18. “The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.”
Information broke previous this yr that Leviss had an affair together with her Vanderpump Laws costar Tom Sandoval. Us Weekly showed in March that Ariana Madix ended her nine-year dating with Sandoval, 40, after studying of his infidelity.
“I know what I did was morally wrong,” Leviss mirrored. “And I get it, I get the anger.”
After present process a 90-day remedy at a trauma remedy heart within the wake of the scandal, Leviss shared that she blocked Sandoval’s quantity — however that didn’t forestall him from publicly wishing her a cheerful birthday by the use of Instagram remark in September.
“I’m just trying to put myself in his shoes, like, was he doing this to be, like, spiteful?” she questioned within the podcast teaser. “Or was he doing this to be, like, ‘I want the best for you.’ Because it seems like it could go either way.”
Leviss confessed it used to be a “hard process” for her to “completely cut” Sandoval out of her lifestyles as a result of “the story” she instructed herself about their affair made it appear “so special and so real.” It used to be sooner or later coming to phrases with all of his “red flags” that allowed her to transport on.
“Once I was broken out of denial and realized how manipulative he is, I couldn’t put myself in a situation where at my most vulnerable state it would just probably get me back into those old patterns that I’m trying to break free from,” she defined.
As for the place Leviss stands with the Bravo display as of late, she shared she has “completely removed” herself from “the filming environment that is Vanderpump Rules.” (Us showed in August that Leviss would no longer be returning for season 11 of the truth sequence.)
Leviss famous that her “first mistake” used to be returning for season 10 as a result of she must’ve “taken the time to heal” and discover a therapist after calling it quits with costar and ex-fiancé James Kennedy. “Looking back at that season, I was at my lowest of lows,” she stated.
After having to engage with Kennedy, 31, Leviss stated she “could only imagine” the ache she would reason to Madix by way of filming in the similar surroundings as her.
“Being involved with somebody’s boyfriend while they’re still in a relationship is a huge betrayal and so painful as it is,” she shared. “But then to continue working with these people, and interacting with them – maybe not even speaking – but hearing about what they’re doing and seeing your person that you loved so much and thought that they loved you just as much as you loved them, be conversing with this other person … it would just be so catastrophic and I didn’t want to do that to Ariana. I didn’t want to put her in that position.”
Leviss confessed she used to be “drinking a ton” whilst filming, however clarified it’s “not an excuse.” She added, “Point blank, I was not in a good mental space. In knowing that, I’m learning from my mistakes.”
Leviss and Kennedy cut up in December 2021 after a seven-month-long engagement. She added that she stands by way of having a “no contact policy” with Kennedy whilst filming, who's now courting Best friend Lewber.
“When we’re working together and filming together and he’s flaunting his new girlfriend that he met three weeks after I ended the engagement, that hurt,” she stated. “And there were so many questions running through my mind like: Did he ever really love me? How is it possible to love someone and then get over them so quickly?”
It used to be “taking a step back” that has allowed her to realize “a lot of clarity” at the state of affairs.
“I look back at season 10 … Oh god, it is a really difficult season to watch back because I’m just cringing at all of the things and moments that they caught on camera,” she stated. “It’s actually embarrassing.
She endured: “But I see a girl that is going through pain and doesn’t have the right tools to tackle it and she’s coping and the way that she feels like her needs are being met is by someone who’s giving her adoration and attention and I really did not prioritize my friendships when I got involved with Tom and I regret that a lot.”
As for the remainder of her former costars, Leviss stated she has no longer heard from any person because the affair however famous bodily violence is a boundary she gained’t go. In March, Leviss claimed that costar Scheana Shay shoved her in opposition to a brick wall and punched her in her left eye after listening to concerning the scandal. Leviss later filed a restraining order in opposition to Shay, 38, who denied the allegation. Later that month, Leviss showed in a remark to Us that the restraining order used to be dropped.
Leviss introduced remaining month that she used to be making plans to “tell her story” together with her podcast.
“I’m Rachel Leviss,” she stated in a November trailer. “This might not be the return you’re expecting, but this coming January, you’ll hear my side of the story, and you may just be surprised what you find out. I hope you’ll join me.”
“Rachel Goes Rogue” premieres on January 8, 2024, at the iHeartRadio app and all over the place podcasts are heard.