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Billie Lourd is honoring her past due mother, Carrie Fisher, seven years after the Celebrity Wars actress’ loss of life.
“It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?),” Lourd, 31, started in her caption by way of Instagram on Wednesday, December 27. “Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief. Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once.”
Along the tribute, Lourd shared a candy throwback snap of her enjoying within the sand along her mom. (The When Harry Met Sally actress shared daughter Billie with ex Bryan Lourd.) Billie famous that she awoke feeling “grateful or griefull, if you will.”
“Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before,” she wrote. “It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last.”
Since Fisher’s loss of life, Billie has welcomed son Kingston, 3, and daughter Jackson Joanne, one year, with husband Austen Rydell.
“Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy,” she wrote. “I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing.”
Billie persevered that she “felt my mombys presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day,” including that it’s the “kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin.”
“I miss her every day but the cliche is also true — she is with me every day — she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy,” she concluded. “As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings.”
Fisher died in December 2016 on the age of 60 after struggling a middle assault. Sooner or later later, her mom, Debbie Reynolds, died of a stroke.
Since her mother’s loss of life, Billie has been candid concerning the grieving procedure. In 2021, she mentioned that the “answer” to “what stage of grief” she’s in “is never simple.”
“I’m in a different stage of grief in each moment of every day,” she wrote by way of Instagram. “My grief is a multi course meal with many complicated ingredients. An amuse bouche of bargaining followed by an anger appetizer with a side of depression, acceptance for the entree and of course a little denial for dessert.”
She persevered: “And that’s how grief should be – all things all at once – actually there is no ‘should’ in grief – grief just is whatever it is for you and that is how it ‘should be.’”