Malte Mueller
- Life is full of annoyances, but some find it harder to cope with them than others.
- Unchecked, impatience can develop into anger issues, and can ultimately harm your health.
- Psychologist Sarah Schnitker explained to CNN how you can really manage feelings of impatience.
Life is full of annoyances, and some people struggle more than others to be patient. It's important to note that impatience can turn into anger, and can have a detrimental impact on your health.
However, there are things you can do to stop impatience — or anger — in its tracks before it causes any harm.
Sarah Schnitker, associate professor of psychology at Baylor University and author of the 2012 study "An examination of patience and well-being," told CNN that people who are particularly impatient are often more stressed, and therefore more likely to suffer from stress-related health problems like cardiovascular disease.
"Research shows that people who are more patient have higher well-being — more life satisfaction, hope, self-esteem, positive emotions in general. They seem to be able to pursue their goals with greater effort and have more satisfaction with their goal progress," Schnitker added.
Consider your expectations
Everyone has moments when they can't keep their cool any longer and just snap.
"We have expectations of what should be and what is an appropriate time to wait in line, or how quickly I should be able to get somewhere, or how someone else should act or how I should feel," Schnitker said.
"When those expectations are violated, oftentimes that's when our emotions become dysregulated," she went on.
In such situations there are two options, fight and try to change what's happened, or accept it as reality. Accepting the situation is a sign of learning patience.
Patience can be learned or improved.
"With intentional practices, we can cultivate our patience, and make it easier for ourselves to wait," Schnitker said.
The secret is in your mind. What you choose to think in response to a feeling can intensify it or calm it. This mental process is crucial to developing the skill of patience.
To tolerate a situation that's ruining your mood, you have to learn to separate feelings of anger from angry actions.
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Cognitive reappraisal, where you consider the situation from a new perspective, is the answer, Schnitker said.
"Asking yourself what positives can come from this negative situation can help you wait in the moment and can also help you build patience long term," she said.
Patience can also be developed by increasing emotional fluency, "which is the ability to recognize and name your emotions," Schnitker went on.
If you change the way you think, that will change how you feel, but first, you have to know what you feel. Emotional fluency makes it easier to reevaluate situations by being able to name them more easily.
When developing patience with people, it helps to focus on your goals and what you want from that relationship. For example, as a parent, understanding that not succumbing to a tantrum will help teach discipline and self-control to your child.
To build patience, Schnitker recommends that the most effective thing to do is to practice these strategies during times that aren't too stressful.
"Try to be patient when the elevator comes too slowly. That way, you've got some skills built up by the time you get to a more high-stakes situation."
Now, these changes won't happen overnight. You'll have to put the work in, but over time you'll see the results.
So don't forget to be patient with yourself.
source https://www.businessinsider.com/impatience-may-be-damaging-your-health-psychologist-explains-how-stop-2021-12